June 24, 2010

End of Yourself

Ever been runningAnd you think to yourself:  if I keep going at this rate, how far can I push this pace?  How hard can I go and for how long?  And then after, ask "was that all I had?"  "Did I leave nothing behind?"  "Did I just stretch my potential?"
These moments of challenge come from within!  They head butt your ego.  They make mush of your resolve to continue an uncomfortable pace.  Yet, if it werent for these moments of self-coaching we could not find out what we are made of.
Today I wanted to push myself harder, get closer to that elusive 40 minute 10k .  I failed at that ultimate dream of course, but i pushed myself for a long time, into anarobic work, sucking wind.  My legs felt like giving up for much of it, my body protested, the sweat began to just leak down my baldy head into my eyes, but my hope was that I would break into that zone where I might feel invincible.  It didnt happen today, but I got much closer than in recent  runs to that elusive time.
Will power can be a force to reckon with.  But what I find a challenge is my ability to hold out in discomfort, and to not let my body dictate my pace.  My body is a whiner.  My brain is the boss.  My spirit is the coach.  I will set myself on to that goal, to beat that time, to push for that prize.
I guess this is how I also feel in other areas.  If I am slumped, which I have ben feeling lately, do I cave to that web of depression?  Do I throw my hands up in the air and say, okay life, you got me, just toss me against the rocks, spin me around as you please.  No.  With  my running I kick into practice the same Spirit that urges me to be better, to beleive for more, so trust that I have been given talents and strength for a reason. 
This sounds lofty, but unless my eyes are focussed on a distant goal, I trip on the details of the road.  I stumble on the challenge of the moment.  I give up in essence.  I cant afford to do that.  My life is a gift I want to spend well.
So with my run I challenge myself to be more than what is handed to me.  Pain becomes temporary, healing becomes part of the journey which results in greater strength.  How Inspiring!!   Isnt running theraputic???


EZEthan said...

The fact that you could even approach a 40 min 10k during a training run is pretty freakin' impressive... makes me curious how fast you'd run if it was an actual race!!!

Chad said...

AH, If only I was near there. More like 43:53 ! I have been in a slump time wise and wanted to pep things up to where I dream of going, you know? You are so kind!

Ewen said...

The brain is half the secret to running well. Sounds like yours is doing the right thing!

Don't know that I could run within 3 minutes of my 50+ 10k PB. That'd be a bloody hard run.

Chad said...

Wow, certainly that was an encouragement Ewen! Perhaps I am learning something about myself I didnt realize in expecting to always be a the PR level. This is like therapy, isn't it!?