September 11, 2009

Red Faced Running Stories

Stupid is as stupid does, isn't that the saying from our favorite dufas from the 90's?  I was pondering all the private and not-so-private things I have done while running that were, well lets say, embarrassing!?  
Like there was the very first run with my friend Jeremy I ever took.  Being the "entertainer" I am, I decided it would be funny to leap into the air and turn to him and say "FREEZE FRAME!" as we ran side by side.  This made my very visual mind think it looked very funny, because I took a mental slow motion snap shot of myself leaping in the air.  It was more for me than for my friend's benefit.  Problem:  my feet didn't get back under me to keep running. with the momentum we were going.  Result:  me landing on my leg, hips,  and rolling onto my back and me having to stunt roll on gravel while keeping a smile on my face.  I looked completely insane.  I got road rash all along my legs back and body.  Stupid is as stupid does.
Then there was the time this summer that I decided in Victoria, along the beautiful ocean shore to keep running as 'ocean-side' as I could, veering off the road and heading onto the actual shore hoping to meet up with regular walkways I was accustomed to.  BIG MISTAKE.  It was a over sludge, water, seaweed and eventually, I fell slipping off a rock I was leaping onto and minutely injuring myself.  Private embarrassment quotient VERY high.  Glad no one saw me, but I embarrassed myself!  How do you do THAT?  I eventually found a road again, but it slowed my run down to a crawl for a good 1/2 hour.
Then lastly, of course, any runner with distance under their belt would have some bathroom , er, issues.  When I first started running, I found my body's jarring and jostling , uh, loosened up my bathroom needs immensely.  A few emergency stops made for close calls.  One in particular didn't turn out so well.  I was needing a bathroom in the middle of a 20 k run, and a gas station seemed to be my salvation.  When asked the gas attendant, he pointed to an out house.  I could do that, no problem.  Once I sat to "go," I realized...hmm... no TP!!!  A sign indicated i could ask at the till 50 yards away, as it tends to get stolen.   But it was a little late for that.   Result?  I just ran off, uh, feeling unclean... ew...  Builds character, no?  What character?  Well at least it builds interesting stories for my blog.


RunnerDude said...

Okay, so now me being attacked by a Canadian Goose mid flight leaving a huge bruise in the middle of my back when he rammmed me twice doesn't make me feel so bad now, nor does a recent trail run where I fell twice, rolled my ankle a separate time and jammed my finger on a third fall all in about the first 1.5 miles of the run! LOL!! Great post!

Chad said...

Goosed eh? Yikes, those bird cannot be intimidated either. I think that is one for the memoires. That is hilarious.